You’re all alone, there’s no one here beside you. Are your problems all gone, or is a sentence aboard the Squideo Submarine your version of hell?

What an absolute nightmare! I want to emphasise right from the start that I do not want to do this. I hate being out on open water, I don’t even want to contemplate being under it. The only positive is there’s no one else aboard, so I can scream to my heart’s content. Which I will be, since you just put I’m All Alone in my head. 

Life without music would be a mistake (very true Friedrich Nietzsche). Music is about to become your only companion. How much of a role does it play in your day-to-day life?

Well, I can’t argue with Nietzsche. I listen to music every day, usually at too high a volume. I remember a friend once asked why I play music so loud, that if you can hear the lyrics that’s loud enough, and I’ve never felt a greater disconnect from another human being before or since. 

I grew up in a household where the radio was constantly on or someone was playing a CD (I even remember having a cassette player). My Dad plays guitar, my grandparent’s house had a keyboard… I learnt to play that using the song books available: The Beatles Greatest Hits and Oklahoma! I briefly played violin for a few years at school, even performing at the Hornsea Musical Festival with my teacher. I gave the violin up eventually but not music. 

Crank the volume up to 11, there’s no neighbours to disturb. Talk us through your playlist – are you a fan of one genre or era, or do you like to mix things up?

I usually volley between several genres in one day. I have a lot of playlists on my phone which makes it easy to change it up. I thought my Squideo playlist would be more varied, but on the day I made it I was perusing 1970s style clothes (The Hippy Shake) and it clearly influenced my choices! 

The only thing I knew for certain was my favourite band would appear at least once, and Free is in there three times – or four times, if you count the fact that the same band members performed Molten Gold. 

You might be the only crew member, but space is at a premium aboard the Squideo Submarine! You’ve been given strict orders to bring only one bag of personal effects. What are you taking?

Dramamine, travel sickness patches, dry crackers and copious amounts of rum. I imagine I’ll be too sea-sick to read, and I won’t get Wi-Fi while I’m submerged under the sea. I’ll take my laptop anyway, since I can download a ton of films and tv shows to watch beforehand. If there’s any space left in my bag I’ll bring a teddy bear to talk to so I can pretend I have company.

A week is a long time, just long enough to decorate your quarters for the trip and make it homey. What band posters are going on the wall?

I’m not sure I’ve ever hung band posters before, except maybe S Club 7 when I was in school. I’ll throw them up on the wall, since they’re (hopefully) coming back. Then I’ll pick the latest concerts I went to, which was James Taylor (Leeds Direct Arena) and Tom Jones (Hull Craven Park). 

Do your musical tastes align with your family and friends or is it wildly different?

I have quite an eclectic taste in music and I blame that on my relatives as they all liked different things, so I was exposed to a lot of genres growing up. 

My Dad loves late 1960s and 70s music, particularly rock and blues. My Mum is more 80s, although some of her favourites overlap with my Dad like Free and Dire Straits. My Grandpops loved musicals and opera. Gran favoured 50s icons like Sinatra and early 60s groups. Granddad got me listening to comedy albums. Grandma likes choral pieces.

Even my primary school headteacher is responsible for making me love classical music, as she’d play Vivaldi or Mozart every morning when we filed in for assembly. 

Like smell, music can have strong associations with certain memories. We don’t want to consider how the Squideo Submarine will smell after a week; instead, choose a song which you associate with your childhood.

I have a playlist made for almost every occasion, genre, decade and theme and that includes one for my childhood. There’s the typical Disney numbers – The Bare Necessities and Under The Sea were two of my favourites – and tween music like S Club 7 and Britney Spears. I also associate some songs my parents played a lot when I was younger with my childhood, like Sweet Baby James (James Taylor), Sultans of Swing (Dire Straits) and Put Your Lights On (Santana). 

The submarine is starting to feel cramped. There’s no more air freshener and the view is getting old. Time to put some music on… again. What else is there to do in a submarine? What do you play when you’re angry?

I play loud, aggressive music. Ideally something with a lot of drumming or heavy bass. I have a playlist I like to play when I’m irritated, it has bands like the Ramones, Buzzcocks, Atomic Fireballs, Pharcyde… Then I play it insanely loud until my ears feel like they’re about to start bleeding, by which point I’m usually calmer. 

Alternatively, I’ll listen to bombastic classical music and operatic pieces. Verdi’s La Traviata has the best one – Sempre Libera. Brindisi is more famous, but Sempre Libera is better in my humble opinion. During Hull City of Culture 2017, I watched a streamed performance of La Traviata in a carpark. Classy huh?

Opening the window isn’t an option when you’re aboard the Squideo Submarine, but there is a decompression room with a dive suit should you want a walk on the ocean floor. Would you go? What would you hope to see?

No. I don’t care if that submarine smells like a flatulent slug just ate a mould encrusted sock, I’m not going out there. 

Living on a submarine is a quiet existence. So calm and peaceful… except… oh no… you have an earworm. What was the last song stuck in your head? 

It was Help! by The Beatles. I don’t know why that song got stuck in my head, I just woke up and there it was. Frustratingly I only had one line stuck – “won’t you please, please help me?” – which kept going round and around in a loop. I ended up listening to The Beatles’ 1 album until it went away.

Squideo videos look inkredible, but there’s also a soundtrack! Which piece of Squideo-approved background music always gets stuck in your head?

In 2022 we released a short video called Stand Out to promote Squideo and there’s an instrumental in the background that I find insanely catchy. The video only lasts 15 seconds or so. I really want us to use it in something longer. 

It’s almost time to come back to the surface! The journey went a lot quicker with music, didn’t it? What song are you playing in celebration of your return?

I’m finally escaping this underwater prison? In which case, I’ll play I Want to Break Free by Queen. 

We returned to the surface where the H.M.S Fifty Squid was waiting to welcome the Squideo Submarine and its crew of one back onboard. The mission was a success with a full clean up achieved and at the same time we got a great opportunity to explore the depths and breadths of the ocean with the one and only Emily Woodcock.

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